study - budy

...we have a lot of family and sexual dysfunction because of the imposition of christianity, western morality and abuses endured....

reading...Successfully until, gone and sixty seconds comes back from commercial

5 min later

…have a lot of family and sexual dysfunction because of the imposition of christianity, western morality and abuses endured....

glances back to the tv

5 min later

...sexual dysfunction because of the imposition of christianity, western morality and abuses endured in the residential school system…

i hate these readings
i mean really, if it was important, wouldn't they have made it into a movie by now?

The Construction of a Negative Identity - if that was a movie, you'd watch it right?

hold that thought, the movie is back on!

just because

just because i don't talk to you
doesn't mean im shy
-i hate you

just because i don't smile
doesn't mean im mad
-you're not funny

just because i don't care what you think
doesn't make me a bitch
-I speak my mind

just because i hate it here
-doesn't mean im going home with you

oooo

i am so the king of poetry tonight!

that was my first poem people!

cheer me!

praise me!

love me!

then give me some money

it's friday night,

this is my third...? post?

i'm listening to aimee man and talkin to my pc

WHOO IS BORED PEOPLE

bored and the most sad 21year old ever.

thats like the icing on the gravy

- i put this in a dark colour in hopes you wont see it.

fancy shmance. it's a word - ya!

oooooooo fancy!!!

im so proud of my new layout

i even carried the counter and the tag box over to this template!!

i probly shouldn't get so excited

i still cant figure out how to post my image in my profile

or figure exactly what time zone im in

but hey...little steps people

before you make judgments, know this:

i do have a life...its just loading

hahahaaaaa

oh me
oh my

thursday

it's dark in here

visions are flashing to my head as i reminisce,

my re occurring dreams and you said...

lets go to A&P

-miss you les

the beginning of that was the lyrics to imogen heap's

come here boy

dont ask -

it sounded good in my head

Les,

my big, little sister has the most sporadically updated blog

but it has fun colours

yadaa-yadaa.blogspot.com

daddys girl

it's my dads birthday tomorrow

well

in an hour

i'll put this on here because...well...because of the wonderful things he does

dad,

i miss you selfishly

when you are around you make me smile, you make me sigh, you make me laugh

and often cry

no i'm kidding

this isn't a poem.

thank you for making me feel like im worth more than gold

and deserve more than the moon

dad, you make me feel loved and i miss you so much

so so so so much

i miss you because when you are gone, so is a piece of me

happy birthday dad

caveman

my internet is down

so im writing this on word

i went down to the front desk to find out what was wrong with this thing,
and they just stare at me blindly
as if im handing them an engine and asking them to repair it.

That part was weak, I'll come back to it and make it funnier in a sec

I mean, do they really expect me to go to the computer lounge?

use those disgusting, germ infested computers with the rest of the non-owning computer commoners?

Um, I don't think so!

You really expect me to openly search for pictures of justin timberlake within eye shot of witnesses waiting to expose me,

accusing me of being a anti-pop poser?
Letting people know that yes...i am on some level a sheep who just wants to see him topples

But would deny it to the tortus if you ever asked me about it!
In fact, im going to delete this part later when I post - lest I forget
Reminder: look up lest in dictionary and make sure it makes sense

So, im still unhooked

And I feel disconnected

Lost

What is my computer good for if not a glorified typewriter without internet?

everything I came up with doing to kill time involved the internet
- check e-mail (obvious i know)
- send e-mail ( im slow)
- update my itunes
- talk to les
everything involves the web!

I guess this means im actually going to have to do my hmwrk.

bleh

$%&#@#

edward norton said it best.
and i must agree.
i hate this place.

i don't ever cuss by the way.

unless you count in my head...

or when im alone...

or in a different language...

or when i replace the real word for other things like eff, ish, arse

...and i don't. so...continue

Fuck this whole city and everyone in it.

Let an earthquake crumble it.

Let the fires rage,

let it burn to fuckin ash,

and let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat infested place.

that movie is worth buying...just for that.

don't ever go to windsor. just...take my word for it.

going to the states from canada? go thru sarnia.

best years of my life - my arse

mypod

i should say, this pic isn't mine

i wish it were

cause if it were that would mean i would be in toronto, at home

and it would be summer time

i love my ipod

its a pal

no, really

its nam is brooklyn

i take care of it like an eyeball out of its socket

i have special cloths

cases

protecting visors

and i only got it for xmas!

so, i was in class and i saw this yank with hers

she took it out of her bag and dropped it on the desk!

just...out in the open - for everyone to see

don't get me wrong,

i love mypod and want everyone to know i have one

but i don't want it to get jacked

and here in hickville, even in TO, ipod theft is a huge issue

but that isn't the point

the point is that she just FLUNG it down!

without a case - on a dirty, contaminated, potentially damagin surface

im a germ-o-phobe too

is she mad???

has she completely lost her mind???

the fragile shell of the ipod is like...well, an EYEBALL!!

it scratches soo easy!

the fact that she's swinging it around without a case leads me to these conclusions:

1. she has money

and therefore has the deniro to buy a new one

WHEN that one breaks

scratches

gets ripped

whatever - cause it will

2. she's poor

and cant afford a proper case

3. did not pay for it.

cause if she had,

she would know,

and love that ipod with every music loving fiber of her nonchalant being!

if you're not an ipod owner, you wont get this post.

its like,

parents with their kids

people with their pets

the cheap with their money

its like that

i love my ipod

and it loves me

boys don't fantasize about girls in the back row

and vise versa

the mystery of
- the back of a persons head
- side of their face
- their hair
- while only hearing their voice

if you are sitting in the back nobody can see you

and having fallen for many guys,

tho completely one sided

like all of my intimate relationships

i like them, but they don't know who i am

who have sat infront of me

then plummeted immediately out

after seeing that their glossy hair and whisky voice

originated from a scary impression of

i don't know,

someone really ugly

ok...where was i going with this?

i lost my - pointless/slightly humorous/but only to me - thought

a polar bare attacks the set of lost.

so the big growling thing, was a polar bare.

wow. i never saw that coming. prob cause its not possible.

my new theory - the kid caused the crash, like he caused that bird to hit the glass....

this show is irritatingly hypnotic.

its like a soap opera. everyday you think they are going to find out that grace is really a man.

but you don't. so you get the courage up to stop watching. and cave about 6 months later, only to find them in the EXACT same place.

let me make a prediction:

the preg chick comes back, only to discover her diary has been violated by the only person

on the island she thought cared about her - who made her feel safe & that causes a huge rift

b/w them.

or

she comes back post pregnancy - doesn't remember what happened to her child,

or she cant talk cause they cut out her tongue!!! causing the hobbit to fall out of love with her cause really, without her tongue....?

oy.

i really hate this show.

necks...ya

have you every really looked at your neck?

i mean, they are weird. and completely useless
and im talking, aesthetically. not actually

and they look funny. the extend from your shoulders or drop from you head - whichever

'n they are kinda skinny

the reason why im writing this is cause i just recently discovered mine

i used to be a total flintstone. but somewhere along the way, i developed a neck

and its...wait...4 inches and a quarter long!!!

wow

i wonder if thats a record

i wonder if this is a record for most pill dependent post

hmmmm...

this is positivly the worst way i have ever stalled from doing my wrk
but educational none the less!

one more weekend wasted - with no regret

i really had the best of intentions for this weekend.

i was going to get everything done.

go to the library, rewrite my notes, do all my university application stuff.

but of course, in true Tccc tradition, i goofed off with les.

so on sunday now, i rushed around like a chicken with its head cut off.

but i did manage to see in good company with topher grace - very good.

rossario dawson

and scarlette johanson

are the most original beauties in hollywood

now its back to the sucky windsor grind.

and with winter back in full effect, i hate this place a little more than ever.

gumball lesson

i don't know how anorexics do it

honestly

i didn't eat anything but fruit today.
not by choice but sadly cause there is no food in this house.

turns out, since my untimely exit for this family household,
everyone has been eating ice cream, take out and chocolate.

there isn't a vegetable, FRESH fruit or decent protein with in a 5 mile radius of this house.

so i ate like...nothing.

5 cups of green tea

4 bananas

smoothie - i made out of the stale fruit in the fridge

and i think that's it!!!!

now its 743 and im chewing gum. which is wrong cause i don't eat after six.

here is my problem with this gum..

which i should mention, i live on.

i mean really.

i will go days where i eat egg whites, lettuce and gum.

they have started putting a nutrition chart on the package.

WHY!

you really think i want to know im consuming 12g of carbs in one BALL of gum?

you think i want to give up the only food i eat guilt free!!!

WHY YOU BASTARDS!

hey...maybe i would make a good anerexic..

p.s sooo good to be home

"dont trust anything that can bleed for five days and not die."

ilove that.

if i were a guy for one day, one of the first things i would do would be to say that.

then...i would make my way to jake gyllenhaals gym locker room..

i didn't go to class today...but i had a good reason!!!!

im surfing the crimson wave and i felt (and still do) SO green.

oh gross.

i missed my angry feminist class - so i figure my prof would be sensitive to stuff like this.

first week of class, and i think im off to a good start dont you?


I GET TO GO HOME!!!!

back to toronto!!!!

oh god - i love you toronto!!!

the bums, the stink, the semi clean subways!!!!!!

i love you like ice cubes in bermuda!!!!


now, everybody SCREAM!!!!

work it out

captains log

its 8am

i have to work out early in the morn before my brain figures out what im doing

they are watching

ok

oh my god

someone posted

you mean to tell me people are actually reading this?

now im all self-conscience!

i have a public to please!

and what if they aren't happy

what if...i lose my mojo...will they loot my web site and set it on fire?

oh my god...was that funny?? or stupid?

wait...was asking if that was stupid, stupid?

ok - the word "stupid" has lost all meaning

im going to kill frosty

im not walking.

my legs are moving but not because i'm willing them to.

i wonder, why do my joints hurt so much?

oh right - the snow.

i hate this weather.

15 cm of wet snow dropped on this hateful city this morning.

i hate skiers. i hate snow boarders. i hate everyone who prays for this stuff.

i have to schlep to school in these un plowed sidewalks and suddenly a 5 minute walk takes me 25.

so it comes down in this unforgiving sloppy wet blizzard. wind blowing in every which direction.

the only time this weather is good is in the early am.

when i'm 45million miles gone. on my way to hawaii, lost in REM.

i hate the snow.

enough already!

GO AWAY!

splurge and purge

ok

its 240pm.

i just had dinner - salad and skinless grilled chicken. extra chicken.

i feel sick.

i have issues with eating infront of people i don't know

per essempio:
when i went down to pick up my food, there was this guy who is always asking me to sit and eat with him

which i just don't want to do

and when i tell him i have work to do,

which doesn't work at the beggining of the semest

cause my classes haven't even started yet

he does insults me by:
accusing me of being extremely shy,
and then makes fun of me
cause im a vis arts major, what work could i possibly have to do?

which is true

but who does he think he is!?
accusing me of making up a lie just so i don't have to eat with him!

which i am

the idea of sitting infront of someone as they watch me masticate my food is just repulsive!

i would be a bad dinner date

personally i don't want to watch you ingest your food using your bad table manners either

this either makes me a freak or a loner

or both

oh god...

i think im going to hurl

p.s

im pretty sure this little counter at the bottom here,

is just clocking how many times i visit my own site to post

sad

How To Hate School With Your Eyes Closed - as promised

How To Hate School With Your Eyes Closed:

close your eyes

shut em tight

breath deep

think about home

and everything you're missing there

-repeat

.

i'm sitting here in my kitchen.

on my laptop.

dads on his.

back to the future III is on the tube. (sucked)

.

.

i cant believe i have to go back to winds tonight.

i effing hate windsor with a passion.

it's the worst university on the continent.

i don't know why i picked it.

mother truckin backup schools. i hate you like poison.

.

this is what im going to miss:

- les, my sis. (that's her in the pic, on the water in winds)

- dad

- hearing people moving around, cooking downstairs when im mid wakeup in the morning

- crankin the radio and drivin around doing everything an nothing with - who else - les

- free laundry. and no rush to empty

- weight lifting.

pilates and the tred is good but...i miss muscle burn

- having different rooms to move around in.

that make shift dorm room is more like a prison cell with a built in washroom

thank god i don't have a roommate

- sushi! how could i forget you! my dark prince!

- the movie network

- the subway

-my dads birthday.

i'm going to miss his birthday!

ugh

god.

.

i have to get on a train tonight.

.

and i cant believe it.

.

how exactly do you take these moments in? how do you remember. how do you savor.

.

for starters...i guess i should get off my pc.

aww...its over

did anyone else see this coming?

i knew this was going to happen!
i mean sure, i love them together
he's pretty, she's pretty

but he wants kids

.

as he should!

i think people as beautiful as he is

should be required by law to procreate

for the good of the planet!

help put more beautiful people on this earth - have sex with a celebrity today

im not only the president...

but jenny from the block wants a career

um jen...you can just barely act. you're basically Rachel in everything you do

give it up, girly

you got the man, you got the millions

time to donate to your planet

if you don't...i sure as hell will

but honestly, jen

we'and im calling you jen like re close

i would be scared to have pitts kids too!

he's beautiful! i dont want to be the one to mess up that gene pool!

i promise to post something with more weight next time.

i thinking something like...

how to hate school with your eyes closed.

crazy me

lost or alive pic

lost? homie, you've been found! look around! you're on vacation!
have a banana and chill the eff out.

lost or alive?

i saw alive. again.
.
last time i saw it i was like...14.
or something. probably younger. i was still playing with my playmobile doll house.

.

which doesn't help cause i would still be playing with that now if i had it

.

it was still good. not like fine things
.
that was so good when i was 12, and then when i re-watched it...sucked like a hoover.
.
alive was still scary
.
still gross
.
still makes me not want to fly ever!
.
anyway...the question is: would you rather be lost or alive?

and by lost i mean, the tv show lost. or the movie alive.

personally i don't know what those the lost kids are complaining about!

they have:

nice weather

food

scenery

still warm enough to fornicate

.

and they don't have to cut into eachothers ass's to survive.
.
alive has nooo positives:
avalanches
cold weather

is it just me or did those guys not look cold at all!

they were wearing jeans and had all their necks exposed!

please. those must have been some kinda crazy levi's

no food

cannibalism

plus...the male female ratio was like 29-3. and half those were related

.

even tho that leaves the odds in my favor

rugby players too

.

at least the meat would be good

.

but its too cold to get naked - lest you freeze in whatever position.

and you either die like that...or ger rescued like that.

.

try explaining to family and reporters why 69 seemed like a good idea @ 343635 feet above altitude.

hahahaaaaaa

.

so...i think i would rather be lost.

they have it easy.

.

whats the deal with that show anyway?

a friend thinks that they are all dead. les,

the infamous les

thinks that there is no way they could have survived that crash.

and that guy would have never been to walk again.

.

i don't know WHAT'S going on.

but if they are dead...i'm going to drop that show faster than you can say J.R

.

anyone out there get that?

echo

anyone?

.

great

sushi jive

so, les and i had sushi today.
.
after i went to class with her.
.
i don't know how she does it. marketing is such a bore.
.

thank god for visual arts.

no tests

no essays

no thinking

just colour by numbers

.

then there is art history.

which i give a spinctor factor of about 9.5

but life isn't all peaches and cream.

and in the world of visual arts,

art history is the rake

.

say what?

don't ask me. i don't know

.
anyway, sushi.
.
man, i love sushi.
.
and ninki makes sushi like it's catering for the lord!
it's just GOOD!
.
i suggest you all culture yourself and try it.
.

what all?

.
i had other more meaningful things to say when i started off on this blogger mission.
but why spend time on here, where i could be with real live 3D people?
.
thanks

actually, i cant remember what i was going to say.

but...i wont tell you that.

they flat ironed my mojo

i got my hair done.

.

i swear, there is nothing like a trip to the salon to put me in a bad mood

.

i hate the waiting

.

what is it about Caribbean hair dressers that make them think i want to sit - waiting

for hours!

im not joking

HOURS!

while they chat on the phone

.

if they didn't do such a good job. i would never go back

hah

.

anyway, my hair

.

Les suggested i blow it straight

so i did

.

cause...

she's my sister and has ultimate power of suggestion

.

anyway,

.

its straight. as apose to curly curls like it was maybe 5hrs ago

when i say curls...i mean super curls

but not kink like...eww kinky!

.

(i know...thats bad...but internalized racism is something i'll deal with later)

.

but delish ringlets

and now i'm just all straight and average looking

.

i don't know how straight haired people do it

its so bla.

bla bla bla!!!

.

they flat ironed out my mojo.

my specialness.

my funkyness.

now im just..like...well...you.

.

and that sucks.

muscle head

i snuck into the gym today

.

with my invalid id

.

i'm sorry. i dont know where i'm going with this post

Dawson’s creek is playing in les's room

i'm ashamed to admit it broke my train of thought

.

you know you love that show. dont lie

or you did at some point

i have to call York

the line was busy before

.

i dont really want to go to York

but it's my backup incase i dont get into the schools i actually want to go to

.

backup schools are dangerous. seeing as i blindly ended up going to my last one

and now i'm in hell

.

that statement seems a little self-centered with all that’s going on in the world.

.

so...lets just say....it’s like poking yourself in the eye.

.

what am i talking about??? its NOTHING like that!

it's hell ok people

HELL

.

.

i’m changing my sig to cherry. just cause it seems fitting.

so dont get excited

i'm not blond

.

who am i even talking to? nobody is reading this

go wild